Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
