Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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