Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize