honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
