just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
