At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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