his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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