I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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