She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
