Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
