i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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