Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
