I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
