I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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