I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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