FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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