I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
