I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Two words: nipple clamps
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