I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize