I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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