dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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