Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I think scott just propositioned me for sex

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(443): View more from Maryland

remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing

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(773): View more from Illinois

So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first

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(510): View more from California

Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.

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(310): View more from California

Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on

(1-310): View more from California

I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his

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(517): View more from Michigan

i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.

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(425): View more from Washington

When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.

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