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• (906): View more from Michigan

  rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.

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• (909): View more from California

  Would you still love me if I had no teeth

  (1-909): View more from California

  Yeah why?

  (909): View more from California

  Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.

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• (607): View more from New York

  So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.

  (607): View more from New York

  These are the moments that bond souls forever.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I'm puking in a turkey pan....

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yes. It does.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.

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• (530): View more from California

  I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes

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