if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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