Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
