hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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