Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
