Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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