I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
