Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize