The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
