My room smells like vodka and shame
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize