Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
