why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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