She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
