Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
