all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
