Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
