his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
