Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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