:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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