Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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