Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
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