Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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