We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Even my vagina gasped.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
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