Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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