If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Randomize
