Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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