You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize