Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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