you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
vagina is talking i cant
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
