The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
