He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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