Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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