we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
