Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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