if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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