i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
