drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's blow job season.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
