You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
