Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
