So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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